They’re Baack! Ag PhD,

Live From the Windy City

By Tracy Sayler
Prairie Grains Editor
tsayler@prairieagcomm.com

America’s favorite tele-agronomists (not to be confused with tele-evangelists, who offer input for prayers, not inputs for sprayers) are back, broadcasting from an Irish pub in downtown Chicago.

Darren, I bet our viewers who just tuned in are wondering “golly – why are you fellows broadcasting from the Celtic Saloon in the Windy City, wearing Kelly green suits and Kelly green top hats?”

Well Brian, it shouldn’t be that much of a surprise, after all, green is the sign of a healthy crop, not to mention a healthy sales volume.  But in this case, we’re wearing green for a special occasion, and it’s not because we just won the U.S. Masters at Augusta National.

Ha! You got that right, Darren.  I’ve seen your golf swing take out more top soil than an eight-bottom plow!  No, we’re wearing green because it’s St. Patrick’s Day, that time of year when everybody’s Irish.

For sure, Brian. But ironically, you know who wasn’t Irish? St. Patrick himself. Historical sources report that he was born around 373 A.D. in either Scotland or Britain, and that his real name was Maewyn Succat.

The heck you say, Darren.

No, it’s true, Brian, and the story gets better. Maewyn was kidnapped at the age of 16 by pirates and sold into slavery in Ireland, worked as a shepherd for six years and then escaped, found religion, went to France and became a priest, assumed the name Patrick, then went back to Ireland when he was about 60 years old to spread the gospel.

Holy schmoly, that’s quite a story.  Here’s something else that’s not native to Ireland, Darren – potatoes. The potato is thought to have originated in South America, brought to Europe by Spanish conquerors, and introduced in Ireland about 1590, where farmers quickly discovered that tubers thrived in their country’s cool, moist soil. It was 1845 when the famous Potato Famine began to devastate Ireland, caused by leaf blight.  Of course, leaf blight is less of a problem today, thanks to better genetics and protective fungicides, available through your local Hefty dealer.

That’s no blarney, Brian.  St. Paddy’s Day also means green beer, which the ladies in this pub could use more of, because the “Kiss Me, I’m Irish” buttons don’t seem to be working.

All in good time, Darren -

hubba, hubba.  By the way, it’s your turn to buy.  We should mention that the green coloring they use in the beer and the river here in Chicago is biodegradable food coloring, and completely safe.

That’s right, Brian, and speaking of safe, crop producers can protect against cool, wet weather that can result in crop injury, by choosing a pre-emergent corn herbicide with a safener, available from your local Hefty dealer.

Two thumbs up for crop safety, Darren. The most famous beer in Ireland would have to be Guinness stout, brewed by Arthur Guinness in Dublin, Ireland, in 1759.  According to the company’s web site, about 1.9 billion pints of Guinness are consumed around the world every year.  That sure is a lot of water, hops, yeast, and barley, but not a lot of wild oats, for growers who choose the right post grass herbicide, available through your local Hefty dealer.

Righto, Brian. The Irish are also known for their limericks, like: There once was a man from Nantucket…

Whoa there, Barnacle Bill, this is a family show, not some two-bit red light district.

I know that, smarty, let me finish:

There once was a man from Nantucket

Driving tractor and eating lunch from a bucket

But there was an auto-steer glitch

And along came a ditch

So instead of going around

it he struck it

Ha! I couldn’t have improved upon that any better, Darren, even with an MSO adjuvant, available through your local Hefty dealer.

Well, it’s come to that point of the show where we showcase the “weed of the week.” This week’s weed usually has a trifoliate leaf structure, but if you’re lucky, you might find four. Care to wager a guess, Brian?

That’s an easy one, Darren.  This dicot that dots the Emerald Isle is none other than the shamrock, derived from the Irish word, seamrog, which translates to “little clover.” There are actually various types of clovers, including lesser trefoil or hop clover, white clover, and red clover.  Medick is a clover-like plant that is sometimes referred to as a shamrock, as are various members of the Wood Sorrel family, such as Oxalis acetosella. Then there’s Oxalis deppei, another clover look-alike widely sold as a “good luck plant” because it bears a fourth leaflet.

Brian, all of these plants are suitable stand-ins as “shamrocks” for celebrating St. Patrick’s Day. But none is welcome in today’s cropping system.

You can say that again, Darren.

OK – none of these is welcome in today’s cropping system.

Ha! Bartender, no more Guinness for this wiseacre!

Just kidding, folks. But seriously, clover is invasive when conditions exist that are unfavorable for crop growth, such as low soil fertility, compaction and poor soil aeration.  However, we can easily control it with a broadleaf herbicide or a pre-plant glyphosate burndown, available through your local Hefty dealer.

Two thumbs up for glyphosate burndowns, Darren.  That’s all the time we have, be sure to visit our web site, www.agphd.com for more information and more weeds of the week.  We leave you with a traditional Irish toast: “Here’s to Farmer O’Reilly, one lucky beaver; he bought his farm inputs, from a local Hefty dealer!”