Prairie Ramblings

So How Come GMOs Aren’t On This Blacklist?

By Tracy Sayler
Prairie Grains Editor
tsayler@prairieagcomm.com

Yikes, no wonder I feel like a living embodiment to the late great Lewis Grizzard’s book “Elvis Is Dead, and I Don’t Feel So Good Myself.”

Just looked through the government’s new Report on Carcinogens, 11th Edition, prepared recently by the Department of Health and Human Services National Toxicology Program.  In effect, it’s a blacklist of stuff that can make you sick – metals, chemicals, pesticides, drugs, viruses, and various other compounds that are “known” or are “reasonably anticipated” to cause cancer, and to which a significant number of Americans are exposed. The list can be found online at http://ntp.niehs .nih.gov/ntp/roc/toc11.html .

Checked off a good number of these poisons I’m exposed to on a regular basis. Of course, I can take solace in the fact that I’m in good company, since everyone else in the civilized world is eating, drinking, inhaling, applying, and handling these same sickening, cancerous toxins. Feeling woozy… need comfort and healing…must…have…cold…beer. Oh wait, maybe not. Alcoholic beverage consumption is on the list of “known human carcinogens.”  So are aflatoxins, arsenic compounds, coal tars, mineral oils, radon, tobacco, UV rays (including tanning beds) wood dust, and a lot of substances that I might be able to pronounce had I paid attention in chemistry class.

The list that’s “reasonably anticipated to be a human carcinogen” includes diesel exhaust particulates, lead, glass wool insulation, and lesser known compounds such as polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons from smoked or charcoal-broiled foods, and “disperse blue 1,” a dye used in hair color formulations and in coloring fabrics and plastics.

Y’ know what’s missing from the list? Foods or medicines that may have genetically-modified or genetically-engineered ingredients. If biotechnology is so bad, shouldn’t the products of this damnable evil be on this bad-health blacklist? If you biotech naysayers are so truly concerned about human health, the environment, scientific tinkering, and the consequences of corporate capitalism, shouldn’t you be focusing on real threats to human health – the 246 poisons on this list of toxins? All together now: “Hey hey, ho ho, disperse blue 1 has to go.” Well? 

As it becomes better understood, the debate about biotechnology will some day be put to rest, just as pasteurization and microwave ovens became accepted as the benefits of these technologies were realized and adopted.  I have suggested before that perhaps the educational effort toward biotech acceptance should employ a bit of pop culture, such as a literary tweak to the Dr. Seuss classic, “Green Eggs and Ham.”

“Do you like genetically modified eggs and ham?”

“I do not like them, Sam-I-am. I do not like GM eggs and ham.”

“Would you like them here or there?”

“I would not like them here or there.  I would not like them anywhere. I do not like GM eggs and ham.  I do not like them, Sam-I-am!”

“What if the President ate them in the White House? What if they didn’t harm a lab mouse?”

“I do not care if the President eats them in the White House.  I do not care if they don’t harm a lab mouse.  I do not like GM eggs and ham, I do not like them, Sam-I-am!”

“What if they came in a microwaveable box? Or endorsed by celebrity Michael J. Fox?”

“Not in a box, not with Michael J. Fox.  Not in the White House, not with a lab mouse. I would not eat them here or there, I would not eat them anywhere.  I would not eat GM eggs and ham, I do not like them, Sam-I-am!”

“Would you? Could you? In a car? Eat them! Eat them! Here they are.”

“I would not, could not, in a car. Get away from me.  Go real far!”

“You may like them, you will see.  You may like them watching TV!”

“I would not, could not with TV. And not in a car. Now let me be!”

“A train! A train! Could you, would you, on a train?”

“Not on a train! Not with TV! Not in a car.  Sam! Let me be!”

“In the dark? Here in the dark! Would you, could you, in the dark?”

“I would not, could not, in the dark. I do not like GM eggs and ham. I do not like them, Sam-I-am!”

“With catsup served by my pretty niece? And a bottle of beer to wash down a piece?”

“Not with catsup served by your niece. Maybe the beer but no other piece. I do not like GM eggs and ham, I do not like them, Sam-I-am!”

“If you were paid by Bill Gates? With money in lots of crates? Or bought them off the Internet, at tax-free discount rates?”

“Not if paid by Bill Gates, with money in lots of crates.  Not even off the Internet, at tax-free discount rates.  I do not like GM eggs and ham, I do not like them, Sam-I-am!”

“You do not like them, so you say. Try them! Try them! And you may! Try them and you may, I say!”

“Sam.  If you will let me be, I will try them, you will see… Say! I like GM eggs and ham! They taste no different than before, they taste so good I’ll have some more! I did not turn green by eating them here, what is there for people to fear? They’re tested and safe so why the strife? Greenpeace really should get a life! I will eat them here and there, I will eat them anywhere! I do so like GM eggs and ham! Thank you, thank you, Sam-I-am!”