Issue 30
June 2000
 

Prairie Grains is the official publication of the Minnesota Association of Wheat Growers, North Dakota Grain Growers Association, South Dakota Wheat, Inc. and the Minnesota Barley Growers Association.

Copyright
Prairie Grains Magazine
June 2000

Prairie Ramblings

GM Eggs and Ham,  Sam-I-Am?

By Tracy Sayler

Perhaps you've heard that an alliance of biotech companies has launched a multi-million dollar ad campaign to better explain genetically-modified technology to U.S. consumers.

The Council for Biotechnology Information (CBI) includes Dupont and Monsanto among its membership.  The campaign was launched in the U.S., and may be expanded to Europe, where the gene scene, as you know, has been even more controversial.  The CBI's campaign is multi-media, including TV commercials, print advertising, and a web site, www.whybiotech.com.

How should this complex issue be explained to the masses?  To stand out and be understood, I think the message should be simple. Genetically engineered or genetically enhanced? How about DNA fortified? Genetically Modified Organism (GMO) or genetically modified (GM)? Heck, we don't even know what to call the technology yet, let alone explain it. 

Perhaps the educational effort should employ a bit of pop culture, such as a literary tweak to the Dr. Seuss classic, "Green Eggs and Ham."

Do you like GM eggs and ham?
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.  I do not like GM eggs and ham.

Would you like them here or there?
I would not like them here or there.  I would not like them anywhere.  I do not like GM eggs and ham.  I do not like them, Sam-I-am!

What if the president ate them in the White House? What if they didn't harm a lab mouse?
I do not care if the president eats them in the White House.  I do not care if they don't harm a lab mouse.  I do not like GM eggs and ham, I do not like them, Sam-I-am!

What if they came in a microwaveable box? Or endorsed by celebrity Michael J. Fox?
Not in a box, not with Michael J. Fox.  Not in the White House, not with a lab mouse.  I would not eat them here or there, I would not eat them anywhere.  I would not eat GM eggs and ham, I do not like them, Sam-I-am!

Would you? Could you? In a car? Eat them! Eat them! Here they are.
I would not, could not, in a car.  Get away from me.  Go real far! 

You may like them, you will see.  You may like them watching TV!
I would not, could not with TV. And not in a car. Now let me be!

A train! A train! Could you, would you, on a train?
Not on a train! Not with TV! Not in a car.  Sam! Let me be!

In the dark? Here in the dark! Would you, could you, in the dark?
I would not, could not, in the dark. I do not like GM eggs and ham.  I do not like them, Sam-I-am!

With catsup served by my pretty niece? And a bottle of beer to wash down a piece?
Not with catsup served by your niece.  Maybe the beer but no other piece.  I do not like GM eggs and ham, I do not like them, Sam-I-am!

If you were paid by Bill Gates? With money in lots of crates?  Or bought them off the Internet, at tax-free discount rates?
Not if paid by Bill Gates, with money in lots of crates.  Not even off the Internet, at tax-free discount rates.  I do not like GM eggs and ham, I do not like them, Sam-I-am!

You do not like them, so you say.  Try them! Try them! And you may! Try them and you may, I say!
Sam.  If you will let me be, I will try them, you will see… Say! I like GM eggs and ham! They taste no different than before, they taste so good I'll have some more! I did not turn green by eating them here, Europe and Frito-Lay should have no fear! So they're safe for me, the kids and wife, Greenpeace really should get a life! I will eat them here and there, I will eat them anywhere! I do so like GM eggs and ham! Thank you, thank you, Sam-I-am!

Unfinished business
Perhaps you recall me pondering earlier this year what we should call this decade. We have the 1980s, 1990s, and so on, but what do we call this period between 2000 and 2010? Nebraska producer Elwin Linton may have the answer. "I have decided to call the decade the 'aught' years," he wrote by e-mail.  "I remember when I was a young sprout back in the '30s, the old timers used to refer to the first of the 1900's like this—'I remember how tough times were back then, in aught 6.'"

I looked it up in the dictionary, and aught is indeed a word, as a reference to zero.  "The Aughties."  Sounds good to me.

(The views in this column are those of the author, and not of Prairie Grains or the associations that publish it.  The author encourages suggestions and input from readers, which may be emailed to tsayler@corpcomm.net).