Prairie Ramblings

Postcards from Buster: Sneak Peek at Next Season

By Tracy Sayler
Prairie Grains Editor
tsayler@prairieagcomm.com

Who woulda thunk a bunny could cause such brouhaha?

Combining reality with animation – much like Dubya’s federal budget plan – “Postcards from Buster” is an educational show for kids on PBS in which a cartoon bunny and his divorced, swingin’ single dad fly around the country, learning about different people and places, emphasizing cultural awareness.

I hadn’t heard of the show until it made national headlines recently, when Dubya’s education secretary (don’t know her name offhand, I picture a hairnetted, purse-swinging Ruth Buzzi) threatened PBS funding when an episode of “Buster” featured children in Vermont with, ahem, “two mommies.” This particular episode, which showed how maple sap is processed, was called “Sugartime!” (am I the only one to find humorous irony in that title?)

But if you think this episode was controversial, wait till you see what’s on tap for next season:

“What A Fine Meth We’re Into Now” – Hey kids!  It’s 2 a.m. and we’re with Chaz and Stoner in the middle of nowhere, Nebraska, I think.  Chaz and Stoner are doodie-brain high school dropouts hooked on meth. This is a very bad addictive substance made with caustic chemicals like drain cleaner and anhydrous ammonia. Anhydrous is used as fertilizer to grow crops such as wheat, which Buster can’t digest, because as you kids know, I have gastrointestinal allergies. Anyways, Chaz is attempting to illegally drain liquid anhydrous to make meth, by drilling into the side of this anhydrous tank.  My inner bunny intuition is thinking that’s probably a stupid idea, especially now that Stoner is trying to tap through the other end with a blow torch. Whoa kids, let’s get the heck out of here!

“The ABCs of Picketing” – As you kids know, Buster’s a vegetarian – three cheers for kale! Guess what? PETA people are vegetarians too! PETA is a group that protests doing bad things to animals, like eating them. We’re here in Harlem at a KFC with PETA and special guest Rev. Al Sharpton, learning the ABCs of protesting for media attention. Boy, picketing and protesting is hard work! So afterward, we’re going to kick back with the Rev, swig carrot juice cocktails and groove some hip-hop. We do da boogie bang, fo’ sho shizzle dizzle!

“Visit to the Clinton Library” – Hey kids, we’re taking in an architectural marvel here in Little Rock: the Clinton Presidential Center, shrine to William Jefferson Clinton! The library features the largest single steel beam on any building in Arkansas.  Stretching out over the Arkansas River, the long, rigid structure almost reminds us of, um, never mind.  Now we’re going to slip on our velvet smoking jackets and head over to the multi-purpose meditation/study/bong room.  But don’t worry – we’re not going to inhale!

“Greenhouse Liberation” -- Sshh! As Elmer Fudd would say to cousin Bugs, ‘be vewwy, vewwy qwiet!’ We’re dressed in commando fatigues, tagging along with the Plant Liberation Front as they ransack a research laboratory greenhouse that develops genetically-engineered plants. The PLF believes that oppressed plant life deserve the right to pollinate naturally in the wild, just like their botanical brethren. Whatever.  All I know is, these plant leaves are mighty tasty. Sure wish I had some ranch dressing!

“I Know It Was You Fredo” – What’s racketeering, you ask? We learn about that and a whole lot more, as we hang out with Tony and Rocco, two mobsters here in Jersey City.  Being a dependable good fella in the Lambino Family is more than brass knuckles and pinstripe suits.  You gotta have a car with a large trunk, for obvious reasons. You gotta be organized, but no PDAs – they can be traced by the feds, silly! 

“The Best of Postcards from Buster”  – In this two-hour PBS pledge drive special, we look back at clips of all the fun-filled places we’ve been to the past few years, including the private tour of Graceland (who can forget Elvis’ rhinestone-studded underwear drawer?), cruising the Vegas strip with Paris Hilton, getting smashed during that tour of the Jack Daniels Brewery, and the sleepover at Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch.  Ah, memories!

“Alien Acres” – Hey kids, what do you call a spaceship with no air-conditioning? A frying saucer! Get it? Ha! But seriously, who knows what kind of strange extra-terrestrial goings-on we’ll find after we dig under this fence and sneak into Area 51, the top secret government military installation here in the Nevada desert. Wait a minute, there’s a couple of Humvees driving toward us. Is that gunfire? Holy $#%*!, run!

“Jer-ry! Jer-ry!” – Are the guests for real? Are the fights staged performances?  Hopefully, we’ll find out, as we spend an afternoon backstage at the Jerry Springer Show.  Today’s episode features Jewish transgendered polygamist midgets who quit the circus to sell Amway products, inter-married, divorced, then reunited to become acrobatic street mimes. Whoa, this might be just a wee bit too much diversity!

“Hangin’ With Hef” – It’s been a busy season, time for some R&R at the Playboy Mansion. Their logo is a rabbit, y’know, just like me! Hef’s famous rabbit head has appeared on the cover of every issue of the magazine since the second. The discoverers of an endangered marsh rabbit even named the subspecies after Hef: Sylvilagus palustris hefneri. That’s the show, kids.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to grab a cold Heineken and head for the grotto. Hot bunny love for everyone!