MAY 1996
From Around the Prairie
By Tracy Sayler
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Prairie Grains is the
official publication of
the Minnesota
Association of
Wheat Growers,
North Dakota Grain Growers Association,
South Dakota Wheat,
Inc., and the
Minnesota Barley
Growers Association.
The first-year guaranteed payment in 1996 is pegged at 95 cents for wheat and 46 cents for barley. The first year of the ag market transition plan includes an allowance for repayment of 1995 advance deficiency payments.
"Rule number one: Marketing is not about being right, but about making money. Rule number two: Marketing is not about selling at the highest price, but about increasing net worth. Rule number three: 50 years of farm repression is about to change. U.S. producers have seven years to get their act together"-Ag marketing guru Randy Allen.
So this is the farm bill to end all farm bills? Don't bet on it. "There's no doubt we'll have a farm bill debate in seven years," said John Campbell, former USDA undersecretary and now AGP vice president. "It may not be a big deal, but we'll have something. Farm policy debate is not just going to disappear."
Herefords on Hennepin? -- Geographical ignorance of the Northern Plains is well-documented, and a classic example came from the Minneapolis Star Tribune awhile back, which related the following true conversation between a woman from New York City, and Minnesota writer/radio producer Garrison Keillor:
It seems that the woman began to describe what urban life in New York was like. "Oh," she stopped, "but you have cities in the Midwest, don't you?"
"Well, yes, Minneapolis is a city," Keillor replied. "But you know, most people in Minneapolis, a little more than half, still keep chickens.
"No," she said. "Is that right?"
"Yes," Keillor told her. "They don't take that much space, you know. Garage, or backyard. A lot of livestock in South Minneapolis."
Backyard airhead -- The Northern Plains isn't immune from helium-brains either. A caller once phoned the Fargo Convention and Visitors Bureau, explaining that she was planning a summer visit to the Fargo area, and was wondering how to dress for the weather. Where was the caller from? St. Paul, MN.
Kurault: Minnesotans nicer people -- In his book, "Great American Road Trip," the well-traveled Charles Kurault wrote about a return to the land of 10,000 lakes. "I was reminded on my trip back here how Minnesotans are different from the rest of us. They are simply nicer people. Minnesotans return the grocery cart to the store. Minnesotans hold the door for you. Minnesotans do not blow their horn as soon as the light turns green; they wait for you to notice. The farther away from the big cities you go, the nicer Minnesotans are."
To be sure, Mr. Kurault would find the same in the Dakotas. As long as he doesn't drive in Fargo.
Someday, Plains may attract "Sturpies" -- Ignorance about life in the Northern Plains just strengthens my belief that someday, our area will be "discovered" by Sturpies (Sick and Tired of the Urban Rat-race Professionals). Todd and Margo will figure out that they can sell their $180,000 townhouse in Manhattan and use the profit to build the palace of their dreams in Hebron, N.D. Todd still has his Wallstreet job and Margo remains an advertising consultant-they work via computer and modem. No crowds, crime, or commuting: just the quality of life they've been yearning for to start a family. With the cheaper cost of living and an airport an hour away, their leisure activities really aren't affected. In fact, on their vacations back to New York, they enjoy the broadway shows even more; perhaps because now trips to the grand theater are less accessible, more appreciated nostalgic dalliances.
To change a light bulb…How many Democrats are needed? 1,895. One to represent every ethnic, socio-economic, and disadvantaged special interest group in America.
How many Republicans are needed? Three. One to change it, one to blame the Democrats for the one that burned out, and the third to bombast that enough is enough: from now on you're changing it yourself.
How many dentists? One out of five. The other four are busy recommending Trident to their patients who chew gum.
How many environmentalists are needed? 11. One to change it, one to deliver it to the recycling center, and nine to form a candle-light vigil.
How many farmers are needed? Four. One to change it, the other three to reminisce about how good the old one was.